Missed Opportunity

I feel awful right now. I don't mean to rant, but I know nobody looks at this thing, so I feel justified. When I was younger I was offered to participate in the "Make a Wish" program b/c I'm a childhood cancer survivor. At the time I couldn't think of something I particularly wanted, and I kind of adopted the attitude that someone who was in more need than myself should "get my wish." Of course it is only now that I'm twenty, and as informed by the lady at the foundation that I'm too old to get anything from them, by two years... and I don't care if this sounds whiny, but it makes me feel bad, especially b/c what I want to do is to use my wish to help other children anyway. I'm a writer, and I want to be a filmmaker. I write mostly for middle grade children, and my stories involve a lot of my own life experiences (indirectly as I write fantasy), but they contain lessons I learned specifically as a childhood cancer survivor, and I really think other children who go through such experiences, even other adults who go through this sort of thing could really benefit from what I have to say. Unfortunately nobody wants to publish an author with no agent, and I've tried everything I can think of to try to promote my book on my own. It makes me feel bad that they can't/won't help me, and it's because I didn't act sooner I guess. I've missed so many things in my life because of what I've gone through. I thought they could help me just a little, but I was wrong. And I just felt I had to get this out to somebody, to the universe I guess... I asked for help from the people at the hospital back when I was 17/18, when I could have still gotten a "Make a Wish," but I guess I didn't try hard enough, and now it's too late.